By Helen Wurthmann
Content warning: This story contains a discussion of bipolar manic episodes and suicide ideations.
“Congratulations on getting housing,” I say to Patricia,* who thanks me as we sit down at the picnic tables outside Lifebridge’s River House. Getting a private word in can be difficult inside the women’s shelter — there’s only one common area and no walls between bunks. Luckily, it’s a beautiful summer day for us to chat outside. “How are you feeling about it all?” I ask.
She gives a small smile. “Anxious,” she admits softly, folding her hands on the table. “My case manager Chandra is trying to calm me down. She keeps me grounded.”
She shares that she’s been at River House since last February, and has worked hard to find stability through her struggles with mental health.
Mental Health Struggles
During her career working in the paternity and divorce department of a courthouse, Patricia was in a life-altering car collision. When she left work one day, a woman did an illegal U-turn and Patricia swerved to avoid hitting her, but hit a fire hydrant head-on instead. “I ended up with a traumatic brain injury and PTSD,” Patricia remembers. “I had to re-learn speech, and my memory still isn’t what it used to be. I still don’t remember some things, like movies.”
In addition to this singular event, Patricia has also struggled with on-going bipolar disorder. During a period of bipolar mania in May of last year, she moved to Illinois for 8 months. “An old friend of mine used to call me ‘Grandioso’ when I was manic because I believed I could do everything bigger and better than anyone else,” she says. While in Illinois, this mental state led to destructive decisions that didn’t end until her adult son brought her back to Massachusetts. She had run out of money and had nowhere to stay permanently.
“For a while, I ended up in hospitals,” Patricia shares. “I stayed in a hotel for a week, then I found River House.” However, three days after getting a bed at the women’s shelter, Patricia felt suicidal ideations and went back to the hospital. “Luckily, River House held my bed while I was there, so I had somewhere to go when I checked out.”
Since then, Patricia’s prescriber helped her find medication that balanced her coinciding mental health disorders and her ADHD. She hasn’t had a manic moment since.
Managing Anxiety at River House
When she came back to River House, Patricia participated in art therapy led by Sara Roizen, and a writing program led by Christiane Alsop. “They really helped me,” Patricia says. “Writing and making art keeps me positive. I’m not as anxious when I’m writing or drawing because I’m too focused to think about the things that make me anxious.”
Making visual art and writing support emotional healing and help build a sense of belonging among those whose lives have been disrupted or isolated. “For many of the women, having permission to play, experiment, and make something — simply because they want to — can be a new experience,” explains Roizen. “Trauma and difficult life circumstances can leave very little room for curiosity or play. Art offers a way to reconnect with those parts without requiring words. The women are completely in charge of what they create, how much they do, and where they want to take it. That sense of agency can be deeply supportive to mental health.”
Alsop also integrates freedom and autonomy into writing therapy. “When we meet to write, we start with short, playful prompts, and we jot down what comes to mind. Forget grammar, spelling and whatever your inner censor tells you not to say. There’s only one rule: keep the pen moving,” says Alsop. “People have been telling stories since we first dwelled caves. We use prompts to find our own stories, made up or true, and put them into words. What we write can stay in our journals or be read out loud. Either way, making room for what has never been spoken before empowers not only the writer, but us who listen.”
Maintaining a Strong Support System
While living at River House, Patricia made connections with other residents. “Despite having her own needs to attend to, Patricia was always willing to help the other women, especially when they needed someone to accompany them to appointments. She was always ready to be there for them,” says Yari Acevedo, program director at River House. “These gestures are a beautiful reminder that, no matter where we are or what circumstances we may be facing, there is always a solution and, most importantly, there will always be a helping hand.”
Patricia has also maintained a strong support system in her personal life while staying at the women’s shelter. “Thankfully, my son is a big supporter of me. He’s awesome,” she laughs. “He’s 31 now, and he comes to River House to take me food shopping and stuff like that.” Unlike our shelter in Salem that serves community meals, residents at River House often cook their own food in the shared kitchen. Shopping and cooking is a point of pride for many who live there, but it can also be an opportunity for residents like Patricia to bond with their support systems outside the shelter.
In addition to her son, Patricia recently reconnected with a brother while at River House. “I’m one of 10 siblings, but I don’t associate with most of them anymore. They alienated me a long time ago. It was partly my fault,” she says solemnly. “My brother is good, though. I contacted him the other day and we talked. He lives pretty close to where I’ll be moving, so we’ll hopefully get to see more of each other soon.”
Last but not least, Patricia has a service dog named Giana. Her eyes light up as says, “She’s a pitbull and already 11. I’ve had her since she was a little puppy. She’s my everything. She helps with my PTSD and disability.”
Patricia asks me if I want to see photos of Giana, and shows me a series she took to make a calendar a few years ago. She smiles as the photos end on December with Giana wearing reindeer antlers. “She’s with my son’s friend right now, with another dog.” Since pets aren’t allowed in state-funded shelters, Patricia hasn’t seen her dog in 8 months. “I’m really looking forward to seeing her again, once I move into my new place.”
A New Home to Start Again
Patricia won a housing lottery for a new building in Dracut, near where her son lives. The building has 56 one bedroom units, all handicap accessible.
“I’m looking forward to being out on my own again,” Patricia says. “I had a house back in 2010 and when my sister and her kids moved in with me, they destroyed the house. It was eventually condemned. This time, I’m glad it’ll just be an apartment with only me and Giana.”
To prepare for her transition, Chandra took Patricia to The Lifebridge Thrift Shop, where clients can shop for free. She helped Patricia pick out a couch, lamp, kitchen table, and coffee table. “The thrift store case manager, George, is going to bring everything to my new apartment,” Patricia explains. “I wasn’t sure he’d be able to, because it’s a long drive from Salem, but he said it should be no problem.” She filled in the rest of her apartment needs by buying items online.
“It’s all coming together,” she says. “I just can’t wait.”
*All names have been changed to protect the privacy of our clients.